Bedside Confessional

I have been sick all week. Sneezing, vomiting, overall feeling like death and it is probably the best thing to happen to me in a while.

Due to the glory of changing insurances, I was able to see my therapist again for the first time in a year. I have talked on here before about the importance of all kinds of self care, including mental health, a category in which I have been lacking. In that first hour session all I could think about, as words spilled out of my mouth was "wow, I needed this." And as I anticipated she would, my therapist agreed.

I know a lot of therapists, I work with them in my professional life, I am seeing one in my personal life, and I have seen others in the past. It is been my experience that good therapists are ones that give you something to work on our side of session. Whether that's a mental exercise, journaling, or something as simple as changing some of your vocabulary. The possibilities of these homework's are endless but serve the same purpose: slowly adjusting how you view and live your life. That is a very simplified and condensed explanation at least, regardless, I think you get the picture. I explain all this to say: I got homework. I got quite a bit of homework actually. And I am happy to report that I was doing well on my homework! Well, except for one thing. The task I wasn't quite getting was slowing down my schedule.

Now by the time I got this piece of homework almost all of February was booked up for me. I wrestled with myself on whether I should start cancelling plans, just block out the few days that weren't booked, or just give up on this task until a more open time presented itself, like say, I don't know, April? May, would probably be best, right? Well, before I had the chance to epically fail this assignment, my body decided that enough was definitely enough.

So, here I am, with the flu and a sinus infection. I was ordered not to return to work and I cancelled all my plans for five straight days, six if you count today, which you should. But I realized, as I laid here feeling as if someone had hit me with a bus and then decided to throw said bus in reverse and try again for a more well rounded hit, it probably shouldn't have come down to this. There was a reason I was supposed to slow down, and no amount of justifications that I could come up with should cover up that fact. Getting sick, physically, shouldn't be what finally makes me hit my brakes and only because I feel I have no other choice. While laying in my bed trying to think about what I should write about this Sunday I found myself thinking that quite a few of you might feel the same.

I'm sure at this point some of you are sick of the self care spiel, but I'll be up front with you now, I am probably not going to stop talking about it any time soon. Self care is something that I, and many people I know, struggle with. And it is not a struggle that will go away easily or any time soon. It takes persistence and deliberate action. Encouragement seems to go a long way too. And as long as that is the case than I will always have encouragement for you here. You can do this. Whatever "this" is, you got it.

I may have felt like absolute crap this week, but this was the most relaxation I have gotten in, well, I don't even know how long. I can only imagine how great it will feel when I am not fighting a plague. So, let's make a deal. I will schedule more "me time" and you do the "homework" you've been putting off. For those of you that don't see a therapist, set a [reasonable] goal for you to work on to better your self care and chase after it. You might fail the first couple tries, don't be discouraged, the point is you're trying, and soon you might find yourself succeeding.

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Thank you all for joining me for this brief bedside confessional. I do apologize that it is a little short but I have some more "me time" to take in before the new week starts. Speaking of which, I hope you have an incredible week. Come on back here again on Wednesday for some Nerdom to help push you over that midweek hump. But in the mean time, stay messy friends, and remember to take care of you. Seriously, it's flu season, that's not the kind of mess any of us want. See you Wednesday!