Getting Down To The Mess

This blog is called My Mess for a reason. So lets get down to it. A little more serious but a lot more real, here's a talk about the messiness of life.

It has only been three days since My Mess launched. I started this website for one reason and one reason only: my life, is a mess. I will never be above admitting that. Life is messy, we have jobs, families, responsibilities. And it's hard to do all of that, clean.

If you know me, I have an ill kept secret, I hate my job. It's an ill kept secret because I say it to anyone who will listen. But the truth is, I still go there and give my all every day. I could probably go somewhere else, in fact there has been many times where I have found myself applying to new jobs in hopes that maybe it is my time to move on. So far, nothing has really panned out. But if I am being honest, dread fills my heart every single time I try to leave. Part of it is that feeling we all get, a sense of security. Though I hate my job, it pays decent, its stable, it is your typical Monday to Friday weekends off job. Leaving something like that can be hard, even if you are treated poorly. But another part of it is the not so simple feeling of wanting more.

Most of the people I know are not at their dream jobs, they are at a job that pays the bills. I am no different. I am not at a job I went to school for, I am not at a job I am necessarily passionate about, but it is something that allows me to live the kind of life that I want to live. But a single messy question echos in my mind every day I walk into my office: is this even living? I go in on Monday and just chant to myself the remainder of the week "just make it to Friday. Just make it to the weekend and everything will be okay." I get to the weekend and fill my time with appointments and events. By Sunday I find myself filled with dread and overwhelming anxiety about Monday. And then I do it all over again. But as I said in our Grand Opening article, just as much as nerdom, or hobbies in general, are a choice so is how we live our lives. Our circumstances might be out of our control at times but our response to them is always ours.

And that is why we are here together my friends. I had reached a very messy point and decided that maybe I needed to do a little late spring cleaning. I wanted to take back part of my happiness. Here on My Mess you will notice there are three categories of the blog: Nerdom- talks about all nerdy things that bring me great joy to share and hopefully discuss with all of you, Poetryland- as you can guess is about poetry, another great passion of mine with big things coming soon, and The Mess- where we are today. The Mess is here to talk about some of the more messy and personal things in life. It is a place where I hope to hash out some of life's struggles both little and big with all of you. A place where we can relate and find peace together. As well as sharing some life updates as well for all of you to laugh and enjoy.

For example the events of my household last night:

Our dog, Buttons, decided we needed a new friend and tried to carry this orphan into our home. After lots of frantic screaming, we were able to convince her to leave her friend outside and come in the house alone. I think her friend was more relieved than we were to be honest. As he scuttled into the darkness leaving a trail of bodily functions in his wake. Messy. But funny now that the initial shock, not to mention risk of disease, has passed.

Yup, life is messy folks. Adulting isn't that great, or at least it hasn't been so far. I am a big believer though that God gave each of us our talents and passions for a reason. Now, only you will be the judge if I have the actual talent portion or not, but I do have a passion for writing. Hence the blog. I am tired of being tired. I wanted to have something to look forward to and push me forward into the path that I want for myself. I am still going to be tired some days, I am still probably going to be looking forward to Fridays, and I am still, at least for now, going to be at a job that I am not satisfied with. You can't fix everything in three days, but at least I am moving. That's what I will be chanting to myself, "keep moving". Maybe you need to change your chant too?

A final thought before I go: life is messy but so is finger paint. I know you might be tired but dip your fingers in anyway. Write, draw, sculpt, take a picture, create, do something, anything. Find your passion and try to fit in even just a moment of time for it. It is time to take back our lives and start living again outside of the mundane. Thank you for listening to My Mess today, I am genuinely humbled and grateful for the kind reception thus far. Let's continue our journey together! Till next time my friends, take on the mess.