What Are You Giving For Christmas?

Tis the season for giving! But what is it you're giving the most of exactly? The gut reaction is to scream- MONEY! Can't argue that, but I'd wager there is one thing you give more of this season...

This past week James and I spent an entire night just shopping for stocking stuffers. That is one of the stupidest, and most privileged things I will ever say on here. Nevertheless, I think it has to be said, because what I'm trying to get at is you don't just spend a lot of money, you spend a lot of time, and energy, and stress, and ultimately you end up giving a whole lot of you.

That thought raises a lot of emotions in me. To start, it makes me happy; I'm giving my loved ones part of me, I'm showing them that I love them by taking the time, taking the energy, taking the money, taking everything I have to make my part in their Christmas a merry one. Then the stress of that reality comes in: "that's a lot of pressure, and what if what I have to give isn't enough?" From there, the bitterness can infect you: "I'm giving all I have to give right now, that should be enough!!!" Thankfully, that is short lived, because sadness comes to greet those thoughts in the end: "I am giving all I have to give right now, that should be enough..." I have to remind myself of that, but always in kindness, not bitterness.

We've talked about how difficult the holidays can be here on The Mess. We've talked about toxic families, and even about simply managing the holidays in the chaos that is 2020, but what we need to find now, before the holidays are upon us, is peace in ourselves. You are giving what you have/are able to give right now. That doesn't have to be monetary- that could simply be your time, but you're giving it all the same. I wanted to tell you today that no matter what it is you're giving this season, I promise that it is enough. You are enough.

You're enough- you need to know that- but you also need to know and pay attention to how much of you you're giving! The bitterness enters when we are spread too thin. Not only that, but did you know that bitterness is contagious? It spreads, like any other virus, it leaks into those you touch with it. So be careful and be mindful of how much you give of yourself. There is something so beautiful about giving ourselves to those we love, but we need to remember that no one deserves our best more than we do. This is where we live, with ourselves, so we need to tend to ourselves. Make sure there is enough of ourselves for ourselves! Besides, you can't give what isn't there anyways... so tend to yourselves.

If you do that, you will find the holidays a little less stressful, a little more enjoyable, a little more peaceful. You will give beautiful gifts, whether they are store bought, handmade, or simply your presence as a present; it will be beautiful and you will feel a little more whole all the while. Which is good, because it is better to receive the bits of others that way too. After all, it is not just you who is giving yourself, but all of them too. Though they might show it differently, the people you celebrate with are giving pieces of themselves too. Treasure it and you might find a new gift this season that has been there all along.

So many things are changing, one of those things should be how we take care of ourselves, especially during the stress of the holiday season. We need to change the way we carelessly "give all we have until there is nothing left to give"- that is no way for anyone to live. Give to others with joy this season and give to yourself with love and respect. You deserve it.

---

Thank you so much for joining me tonight on The Mess. The countdown to Christmas, as well as the other holidays, is well under way. Be safe if you are out Christmas shopping! As always, I hope you have a wonderful week! I will be back on Wednesday with some Nerdom, come join me for a nice midweek break! In the meantime, stay safe and stay messy friends!