Where Did Motivation Go?

"Where'd ya go, I miss you so, seem's like it's been forever since you've been gone. Please come back home." Hmm, that was funny but no, seriously, where'd it go?

It is apparent that we are in for the long haul when it comes to quarantine 2020. And with that we are needing more motivation than ever, to work, to create... to get dressed. I told myself that I wasn't going to harp on the topic of quarantine here on The Mess but as it is slowly becoming our new normal, we might need to talk a little bit more about it.

I see a lot of people on social media trying to use this time to better themselves. I think that is genuinely one of the best things we could be doing right now. But it has also become endlessly apparent to me that the very best thing most of my friends have been doing is simply, surviving. And I think a lot of other people probably feel the same way.

Before we get fully into the topic of motivation today, I first want to say this: as wonderful as it would be to learn a new language or start regularly working out, if all you are doing is surviving right now, know that is enough and I am proud of you. What I am about to talk about is if one day you wake up and surviving does feel a bit easier, maybe you'll consider the following message.

My hobbies make me happy. That might sound obvious but sometimes I genuinely forget that. Sometimes, my anxiety tries to tell me they are stressful or that they aren't worth doing because if I can't master what I want to do than it isn't worth doing. But none of that is true. My hobbies make me happy if only I get up and do them. Like writing this blog, or reading, or playing board games, or crafting. I have been on quarantine for 19 days and though I feel like I have been pretty successful about breaking up my different activities through out the day and trying my hardest not to let myself sink back into what I like to call, "the fog". I haven't accomplished much.

I wanted to use this time to work on projects for My Mess, I wanted to finish a big crafting project that I had planned, I wanted to get back to writing my book. The dreams are there, the vision is there, the plans are laid out but the motivation is no where to be found. And I can see a number of things that could have chased it off- depression, perfectionism, self-doubt, excuses. There are loads of reason's why it isn't here but that doesn't change the fact that I want to change that. In fact, nothing will change it except action.

Let's take the spotlight off of me for a second because, let's face it, I'm not ready to be held responsible for my lack of effort until after this article is posted and the cats out of the bag. Last night, James told me that he tried sketching but gave up quickly because he didn't like how it was turning out. That made me incredibly sad because I've never seen a drawing of his that I didn't enjoy and the fact that he didn't enjoy his art like I did broke my heart. Even further, the fact that his response was to avoid it crushed me further. Because that meant, I wouldn't get to see his art since he wasn't creating. Other people wouldn't get to see his art either and I am very much of the belief that your talents are meant to be shared. I know, I know, this makes me a hypocrite but hey the whole point of this website is an attempt for me to break out of that hypocrisy. If I can't write for my book, write a short story. If I can't write a short story, write a poem. If I can't write a poem, write a blog post. Just write something Allison, anything. Because you like it, even if your mind tries to tell you otherwise, leading up to the punch.

I tried to encourage James as best as I could. Eventually we agreed, we would set aside time. Creative time. That is easy to say, and trust me, it's easier to ignore. But we did it.

We sat in the backyard and had some creative time. James drew and I wrote. The fruit of our labor isn't much, but it's something. I'm learning that not having motivation isn't a reason to not do anything, it is the flashing warning sign to start. Because missing motivation won't come home just because you beg, it will be reborn through action done outside of itself.

It is wonderful when motivation abounds but if you have surfaced from the fog and you are simply trying to keep from sinking below it again just do something small. Anything at all: doodle on a napkin, write a single word, just take a step away from fog if you can. If all you have is the strength to keep your head above it, just do that, but if you ever have the strength to do more, don't wait for an opportunity, create one yourself. And that goes for whatever your hobby is. Quarantine, isolation, social distancing; these are hard things. So, if there is something that you know will make it easier or just a little more bearable, please, go for it.

Thank you so much, as always, for tuning into this lil tidbit known as The Mess here on My Mess. I hope your quarantine is going smoothly and if not, I hope it gets better. You can always join me here on Wednesdays for some Nerdom and Sundays for The Mess. Please feel free to contact me here on My Mess or through any social media. And in the mean time, stay strong and stay messy my friends.

Bonus Surprise:

Everyone, it is my supreme pleasure to introduce my new niece-pup. Please give a warm welcome to the newest messer-- Bizzy!