Beyond Me- Part Four: What You Get

We are four weeks in to our mini series and the ball just keeps rolling. We've been talking about the differences we share with those around us, now we look deeper at the differences we create for those around us.

A couple months ago I found myself on a mini road trip with my younger sister Chase. We talked about a lot of deep topics, but one that has stuck with me was the idea of being fake. What does that mean? Well, a concern she had was that she was a fake person because she feels she is a little different with every person she meets. She's different with her friends than she is with her family, she's different with her family than she is with her co-workers, and so on and so forth. We proceeded to have a long discussion on this and now I'm going to share those thoughts with you.

Chase's fear isn't unique. This topic has been brought to my attention by many different people through out my life and I personally remember the first time I thought it on my own as well. Identity can be a tricky thing. A while back I wrote about how we are all made up of different pieces others have given to us throughout our lives- a messy mosaic. I still stand by that, but it's not that simple. If we're to go deeper, there are more things to consider. Like the fact that your mosaic is still being built for instance. Or the fact that the cement holding all those glass pieces together is uniquely you- your base foundation. I also want you to consider that the mosaic is a rather large piece of work, and when I say large, I mean LARGE. So big that it is impossible to look at all of it at once. It's complex, ornate, and too big to see it all just standing in one place. If that's the case then if someone comes to you, and stands close, how could they possibly know what the other side looks like?

We are complex beings. I think this is a very well established fact that we have come to accept throughout this series. With that being said, the fear of knowing who we are as a person can be overwhelming. More so, letting others know who we are can be harder. I think this fear of being perceived as "fake", or maybe even just being perceived as something we're not, is natural. As I said in week one- we are relational beings. We are meant to be with others and with that comes the need to be uniquely acknowledged. I am me. I want you to see me. But there is so much of me to see and there is so much of you that I don't know so what do we do? We choose.

People who say they are the same around everyone the meet are either playing it safe or maybe their self awareness isn't very strong. I had to retype that sentence a few times because it kept coming out mean. It kept coming out mean because that concept bothers me. It bothers me because it suggests that being multifaceted is a bad thing, and it's not. We are complex. How many times am I going to say this? A lot because I need you to understand that it is completely okay that you are more vulnerable with some people and not with others. I'm going to keep saying it because it is 100% fine that you show your interests more to complete strangers at a party then you do your own coworkers that you see everyday. I will shout it from the rooftops if it makes you understand that how much you talk from person to person can change every single time and that does not make you any less YOU. You are not different with every person you meet. You are not hiding yourself or faking it, you are simply show a different corner of your mosaic. You are adaptable, you are intuitive, and having both of those skills allows you to move your picture to best show who you are based on the person you have in front of you- and that is real.

The more adultier adults I talk to, the more I realize that none of us ever really feel grown. We are constantly growing, constantly learning and changing, constantly adding to who we are. That's never going to stop. So, don't stop yourself from being ALL of who you are. Don't let others limit you or tell you who you are, because they don't know. People will get what you give them. Some might get more then others, there might even be some that do get the privilege of seeing almost all of you, but the wonderful thing is, that you get to decide that. Remember that you are in control of your identity and there is nothing fake about that.

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Thank you for joining me for our fourth installment of our mini series! I have been having such invigorating conversations with so many people because of this and I am so thankful for it. This is what "Beyond Me" is about: learning more and considering those around us to improve ourselves as well as our relationships. I hope these have been helping you as much as they have been helping me. Let's go into this week with a fresh start and be better for ourselves. I will be back Wednesday with Nerdom but in the mean time, stay safe and stay messy friends.